Under Construction: The Pangs of Change
Construction zones have always perplexed me. I will go out of my way to plan an alternate route so I can avoid all the dust, driving close to workers, and having to make sense of all the crazy signage, which almost never seems to be adequate enough to describe what we are supposed to do as we move through. I remember several years ago, my significant other and I moved to a new place on Ocean Drive and we were particularly excited because it was close to all the places we frequent downtown and we could enjoy a pleasant drive down Ocean and Shoreline with a water view on our trips to the office and other errands. I appreciate the little things like that. Unfortunately, shortly after we moved, a massive construction project on Ocean began and we could no longer take that route, at least not with any efficiency. Needless to say, we were annoyed even though we had often complained about how much that area needed better roads, traffic signals, and markings. Unfortunately, this is the price of change. City planners are charged with the task of taking a city into the future and that can mean we might all be inconvenienced by some of the changes which need to happen in order to gain efficiency, make upgrades, or take away the old and bring in some new. Sometimes things just need an overhaul and there is no convenient way to go about it. Change isn’t easy.
In 2017, I officially set out on my artist’s journey and it has been non-stop ever since. I’m not complaining about that. Contrarily, I’m thrilled to have come into some pretty amazing opportunities early on which got my work some recognition and led to other opportunities. As a result, 2019 was both exciting and exhausting. In 2019, I did at least four shows I needed to travel extensively for. This means, producing the work, packing and shipping it, then planning the trip. There is so much more to the art business than just producing work and shipping it. The artwork must be photographed and cataloged, promotional materials for the shows need to be designed and ordered, the ‘hang’ must be planned and everything required to install the work must be organized to make the install easier. At the same time, my daughter gave birth to twins and needed my help. Around mid-summer, I began to feel burnout, and like I had just been producing art for shows but not actually developing it. I felt like I needed to press the ‘reset button’ on my life and my creative process.
I have a desire to produce good art, and I want the quality of what is produced to get better with each collection of work. The work should be in a constant state of evolution. It should explore new materials, techniques, and perspectives. That goal requires time and distance from the public. It requires meditation and self-care. It requires a dedication to creating for the sake of creating. This act helps my brain to function even better in all the other aspects of what I do. To this end, I did not submit to any shows for the Spring of 2020 in hopes I could take that time to explore my work and locate my physical, emotional, and mental centers. It was time for serious self-care.
In early March, just as COVID19 hit, I moved my studio out of the dining room and into a space downtown. For several weeks, I did not go there but still managed some preliminary works on paper from home. I’m not quite where I want to be in resetting my life but I can definitely feel a turning point in the work. For much of March through May and even June, I was outraged by the lack of handling of the pandemic situation and social injustices perpetrated on people of color. While the outrage continues, I’ve managed to pour it into my work without thinking about actually showing the work.
Just as the commotion in my life in 2019 caused me to rethink things and try to find new perspectives, I believe what we are going through as a nation has caused many to slow down and re-evaluate what is truly important to them. Silence on these issues is no longer acceptable. My true hope right now is that we are ‘under construction’. This is a time to embrace the inconvenience of overhauling our government, the criminal justice system, and how we think about things in general. COVID19 is changing our world immensely. Some of us are adapting and others are struggling with it. It is time to look at our personal lives and social systems with fresh, more enlightened eyes….to do away with world views which are keeping us from moving forward. While doing that may cause discomfort, be inconvenient, and annoying, this is how real progress is made. As a nation and as members of the human race, we cannot afford to sit idly by and allow these times to simply pass as we get swept up in wanting normalcy again. We must work to transform ourselves. Only then will we advance.
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Until next time…embrace the change and go with the flow. Good things are going to happen.